Don’t forget danger doesn’t have to be physical danger. It could be the danger of being a failure. Danger of rejection. The danger of not being good enough. Take courage and be who you are even when you’re afraid.
Take it from me, the most scary of scary cats. I have run from fears a long time. I have made fear a staple and now its hard to unhook its metal clinches off my skin. But, I also don’t want to live in fear. I don’t want to be this person any more, who runs from her own shadow. I want to be birthed into who I am. Molded into who I was made to be. But to do that I have to become a warrior first. I have to battle the fear. I have to battle it and face it over and over again until I am no longer afraid.
I fear a lot of things. The biggest of which is probably not being enough. I have never felt like I was enough in my life. Not smart enough. Not pretty enough. Not anything enough. I have never been enough for my family. Maybe it’s a cultural thing. But it wears on you after a time. You begin to wonder what is wrong with you that they cannot see past your flaws. So you begin to try harder. You fear this rejection will continue and it does and so you wonder how anyone else possibly sees you be enough at something! But it does happen.
In the tender twilight of converging Winter, there lies one of the last warm Autumn nights of 2017.
The World basks in the last glory of the day. In the distance the atmosphere is painted a rustic orange color fading into the antique blue of night and then into pallid grey soon turned black.
Night is falling and with it a Winter Brew. A conglomeration of crisp icy air turned fresh, the smell of spices baking into perfection, leaves turning fiery and smelling of glorious damp death. #TexasForever #TxAutumn
Smells of cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, pine, drying berries, cool mornings and evenings, daylight shifting- they all beckon to the call of that familiar homey time of year called Autumn. It signals the beginning of the holiday season, the ending of a year and new beginnings to come. It’s my favorite time of year despite having been grown up in South Florida where seasons don’t abide.
It was on such a day like this 16 years ago that everything changed. America was forever altered after we watched two commercial airplanes crash into the twin towers of the World Trade Center. One day changed everything. It shattered our cloud of false security, but it also bred fear across the nation. It fueled hate. I remember that day. I was in 7th grade. Siting in the library watching live coverage of the event for a short while before being sent off to class, head spinning.
People were crying. People were shocked. People didn’t know how to react. I was the latter. It almost seemed like it was some made up tale- planes flying into buildings. A bad end-of-the-world movie scenario. Yet, it’s a truth that remains. An ugly truth engrained in the land of our hearts, carved into the province of New York City. Today lets remember. Lets remember what hates does. What it destroys. How much it costs. Lets remember September 11, 2001.
Friends. A chosen consortment of family. They are the ones we draw strength from, whose arms encircle us and keep away the raging monsters of life. Friend. A simple word. A meaning beyond words. A power house for the heart. Today, I salut you my dear friends, you who have walked with me, chosen to stand by me, who love me unconditionally despite our distance or differences. I carry you in my heart. I carry you always. You are loved. You are prayed over. You are amazing! Above all, you are cherished!!!