Life is a series of storms, of darknesses that test us and mold us. They are times that try our hearts to the very soul. But after the storms of life comes the calm pace that feels numb. It feels like a shallow state, a mistake about to happen, as if it is being contemplated, but how can a mistake be on purpose? If it’s purposeful it is not a mistake, its an entrail of our own volition.
It’s in this numbness, this uncertain haze that we feel most agreived. After a storm- a raging tidal wave sweeping through our body, our mind, ravaging all of our being, destroying all ideas of who we thought we were, living on the edge, adrenals full blast- this calm state feels like a foreigner invading. It feels like less than a reality or even a necessity, like a waste of moments, of space, of life force to live through such meaningless mundaness. The question that remains is how do we go back to just breathing, to merely putting one foot in front of the other? When life was once so intensive, so massively felt, how can such a nothingness be good? How can it be meaningful? But it’s the ordinary moments of life that are special. The small moments of joy, of sadness, or hard work, fulfillment. Those are the moments that make up a life.
The numbness is necessary, though. It is repairing, recalibrating, healing. It is not mundane, really, but ordinary, which to our perceptions after a storm seems mundane. However, it is ORDIANRY, but the ordinary is extraordinary sometimes- a life preserver. So when the winds stop blowing, the scales fall back into account, when the mirage is over, do not think it is not a worthy moment. Don’t believe it’s not real breathing. Life without the battle is still worth loving. Just remember, God is just as ever present, all encompassing, and powerful now in the numbness as He is in the raging pain and the paralyzing fear. So don’t let go. Don’t allow life to just be lived through, wasted. Allow each moment to be meaningful, even the bad, the ordinary. Hold yourself up.